I never thought...

So a few weeks ago, I had the very rare experience of having something happen to me that I never thought would happen. While working in the ICU, I had a very funny patient who while lucid, would tell some crazy stories. She had convinced our PCA that she was hooker and could hire him as a pimp. She even used the term "around the world" as a description for "69" as one of the services she offered. She was quite entertaining, I have no idea how I even kept a straight face. In the morning, I was doing my usual patient checks and she was looking funny at me. She grabbed my stethoscope in an admiring sort of way...then proceeded to take it off of my neck. And thenv she LICKED the bell of it...i was mortified. I couldn't believe it. She then took her cell phone and was showing me pictures of her granddaughter and she licked her phone too! It was such a weird night. I had to immediately saniwipe off my stethoscope!